


updog

by 10hr10minute



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: M/M, and there are a bunch of other background r/s with varying degrees of subtlety so that's something, just fluff, the relationship is pretty backseat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 15:04:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11015868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/10hr10minute/pseuds/10hr10minute
Summary: one man's (read: soonyoung) quest to tell the updog joke(a 5 times x, and 1 time y fic)





	updog

**Author's Note:**

> \- sigh, remember that updog joke? okay, that's all this fic is and i'm apologising already  
> \- based on [this audio](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AnvhRyaido4)

i.

“Updog.”

Seokmin looked up, his thumb pausing mid-scroll, to see Soonyoung nonchalantly sprawled out at the other end of the room, his own phone in a similar state of neglect as he waited beady eyed for a response.

But Seokmin was as well-versed in dumb trends as his friend so he narrowed his eyes, raised a finger gun, and went, “ayyyyyyyyyyyyy.”

To which Soonyoung mirrored with equal gusto.

“Ayyyyyyyyyyyy.”

And they laughed merrily.

* * *

 

ii.

The dorm was quiet, a rare affair. Most of the members were either out enjoying their free time, or in and choosing to catch up on some well deserved rest.

Soonyoung shuffled himself sleepily into the kitchen area, face puffy from having just woken up. He found Seungcheol leaning against the fridge, attention completely taken by the tablet, the milk held in his hand hovering dangerously. Some kind of threshold guardian to breakfast.

“Hyu~ng.”

He really didn’t mean to whine but it was early enough that he could be forgiven for sounding a tad childish.

Seungcheol didn’t look up at all, just kicked himself off the fridge door with a grunt.

Sniffling, Soonyoung dragged his feet over into the space newly vacated. Sticking his face into the cold air seemed to help him wake up a bit too, as his brain also revved into action planning his dietary intake.

“Whatchu reading?” He asked conversationally.

“The news.” Seungcheol answered without missing a beat.

“Wow.” Soonyoung straightened up. “That’s the mature-st thing I’ve heard all day.”

Seungcheol barked out a laugh. “You still have a good many hours to go, don’t sweat it.”

Instead Soonyoung leaned back slightly, watching the door slam shut, “Like updog?”

For the first time, Seungcheol tore his eyes away from the device to look at the other male. “What?”

“You know,” Soonyoung shrugged, “updog.”

“Cheol, can I borrow you for a second.” A voice came floating down, bringing with it an impatient Jeonghan, long hair tumbling behind him wild but still kempt despite the hour. “Che - oh, morning Soonyoung - Cheol, now!”

Then he was gone again.

“One second!” Seungcheol called after him.

He sent an apologetic glance over his shoulder to a stunned Soonyoung before downing all the remaining contents of his milk at once. “Oh yeah, what was with that updog thing?”

“Erm,” Soonyoung felt a little silly. “Nothing.”

“What was it?” Seungcheol asked again, this time with his foot down, like an interrogator grilling an insecure interrogatee.

Soonyoung held up his hands in surrender, maybe slightly sweaty. “It was just a joke, you were supposed to say ‘what’s updog’ and then I’d say nothing, what’s up with you. That’s the whole schmick, see?”

To his surprise, Seungcheol snickered.

“Cheol!”

Came Jeonghan’s voice again, loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood.

So Seungcheol’s bit his tongue then. “That’s too bad,” he consoled, “well see ya later Soonyoung.”

And he gave Soonyoung a parting pat on the arm, left him standing alone in the empty kitchen with the ingredients in the fridge.

* * *

 

iii.

With 13 members, sending people off to make snack runs consisted of an intense round of rock-paper-scissors, all manner of shouting and screaming included.

Today’s losers were Soonyoung and Mingyu.

The two half sulked their way to the convenience store, throwing shade and making poor imitations of the rest of the guys in pettiness, until they were two giggly bumbling idiots on the side of the street.

Then they reach their destination, filling up their arms with all the requested items until they had to toddle their way to the cashier, who hid her laugh behind her hand seeing their mountain of purchases.

“Please come again.” She greeted goodnaturedly after handing the change over, and watching the two wrestle their way through the door.

“Ahh those brats eat so much.” Mingyu grumbled, not acknowledging that he was actually top 3 within the band, as far as big eaters go. Or that half of them were actually older than him.

Soonyoung sighed, penguin-walking his way down with the weights on either side. “Real men throw out stone.”

“You threw out paper.” Mingyu reminded him.

“Ssh, it was self-preservation.”

“You lost anyway.”

Silence for a moment.

Then Soonyoung sent a weak kick towards Mingyu’s thighs.

Mingyu stumbled a fraction of a second. “Ah, come on hyung, we’re almost back at Pledis.”

It was true, the familiar turn of the road evident in the near distance. Soonyoung harrumphed his way down, moving quicker towards the end goal. Naturally Kim Ming-Long Legs matched his stride without much exertion.

They were almost at the entrance now. So Soonyoung turned to face his fellow band member with a huff. “Well, now you owe me updog.”

Mingyu furrowed his eyebrows.

“What’s up-mmffkkkaat”

His mouth tightly clamped shut by someone’s palm. Someone who turned out to be Jeon Wonwoo, seemingly materialising from nowhere.

“Where did you come from?” Soonyoung demanded. He would have pointed his fingers accusatorily too, if not for the baggage on his arms.

“Well, I was just thinking I’d be a good friend and come help with the whole carrying business but I see now that my good intentions were for naught.” He sobbed dramatically. “Wonwoe is me.” Finally, he released Mingyu so he could flail his arm about for effect.

“Yeah,” Mingyu piped up, “but what’s-”

Then Wonwoo clamped his mouth again.

“Don’t fall for Soonyoungie’s silly tricks. He was about to make you say,” here he tipped upwards just a small bit to whisper something into Mingyu’s ear.

Mingyu’s eyes blow open almost comically wide. “Oh man, that would have got me good!”

“A true pity.” Wonwoo shook his head, all the sarcasm in the world concentrated into his three-word sentence.

Soonyoung inhaled through his teeth.

“Nothing to do about that now, come on, haste makes waste,” he snagged one bag off Mingyu. “A hungry man is an angry man.”

“Jeon Wonwoo!” Soonyoung shouted.

“See? Hungry man.”

And he made for the entrance, taking his cackling and Mingyu’s flustered apologies along with him.

* * *

 

iv.

Squeak, squeak, the rubber soles against the laminate flooring. One, two, three, four, counting the beats, tak, tak, tak, tak.

They end with a cool pose reflected in the mirror, breathings heavy, and beads of sweat on their skin.

“Should we take five?” Soonyoung called. The others were quick to agree. The four of them walking somewhat sluggishly to the area where they put their bottles.

They don’t sit or flop to the ground immediately, it wasn’t good practice. Instead, they stretch around in a circle, downing water to quench the thirst.

“I want you guys’ opinion on the moves so far.” Soonyoung brought up easily.

It was natural, as it was to breath, how the comments come flowing out without restraint. A concern raised here, words of consensus there. Slowly, they sat their cooled down bodies on the floor. Back and forth. Yes and no. Until they reach this point of mutual understanding, and suddenly the conversation took a drastic derail, someone commenting about the weather, someone throwing two cents about last night’s episode of a drama.

Of course then Soonyoung, equally caught up in the discussion, had his moment of epiphany where he leant in and went, “yeah definitely reminds me of updog.”

Things went unbelievably quiet. Minghao and Jun exchanging glances while Chan looked like he was about to throw in a snotty remark, except that he doesn’t get to because Minghao was the first to break the silence.

“What’s that?” He asked his same nationality pal.

“Maybe it’s a type of dog?” Junhui answered. Surely it was sound reasoning.

But Minghao was doubtful. “Hm, but you know breeds of dogs don’t usually end with the word ‘dog’.”

“That’s true…” Junhui considered. “But bears are sometimes called something bears too. It could be a not often thing.”

Chan looked at Soonyoung’s rapidly paling face and turned quickly to the two Chinese guys. “Although actually a Koala bear is not a bear at all.” He added, a tidbit of information he came across on the web sometime back.

“It’s not?!” Minghao and Junhui said in unison.

“Okay, that’s enough chit chat, let’s get back to practice.” Soonyoung announced then, scrambling up.

Minghao, ever curious, just wouldn’t let him go. “Wait, did you know that, hyung?”

“Errr…” A million thoughts swimming in his head before settling on one and every part of his body was protesting it but his mouth was already half-way open, “All I know is that we’re bear-ly done with this choreography so on the double, all of you.”

And this time, even Minghao and Jun were groaning along with the maknae, who was groaning the loudest.

* * *

 

v.

Soonyoung stared awkwardly in the vaguely front direction, waiting for the cues. He didn’t think he was ever going to get used to this. Beside him, Seungkwan felt equally stiff but there was no real way of knowing.

Then, after what seemed like hours, the gracious countdown, three, two,

“Welcome everybody!” Seungkwan was off like a piece of stretched rubber released.

“To Hoshi and-”

“-Seungkwan’s-”

“Andromeda Broadcast!”

They finished with flashy jazz hands. Soonyoung couldn’t help the feeling of lightness once the show actually began. The edges of his lips floating upwards uncontrollably as he pretended to ask Seungkwan for clues about the guests for the day.

Seungkwan skitted and dodged just enough before eventually clasping his hands together to announce brightly, “our American friends, Joshua hyung and Vernonie!”

Applause, applause.

Although there was still inexperience to them four, they have fun recounting stories and playing simple games among themselves and interacting with the audience.

Somewhere along the line, a commenter suggested a freestyle rap battle. Which resulted in a bit of a disaster but everyone was laughing so it was just fine.

At which point, Soonyoung, somewhat drunk on laughter, loudly went, “this is just like updog.”

It was Joshua, confusedly cocking his head at Soonyoung, who asked. “Updog?”

“Nothing what’s up with… wait.” He realised belatedly.

The real joke just occurring to them, Vernon and Seungkwan burst out into laughter immediately, Vernon’s mouth open in that unflattering way, Seungkwan clapping furiously by the side.

“Oh my God.” Soonyoung sulked, burrowing his face in his palm.

Joshua made a silent display of guilt. “Oh dear, I’m sorry.”

But the comment only made the 98-line duo howl even louder.

“It’s not your fault hyung.” Soonyoung managed to say, his dejected voice filtered through his fingers.

Then Vernon, riding the last of his laughs, made a passing remark about, “I’ve heard of this joke recently too though.”

“Oh?” Seungkwan perked up. “I actually haven’t seen anything like it.”

“Yeah, me neither.” Joshua mentioned. This was somewhat more obvious.

And the conversation chugged steadily ahead, uncaring of Soonyoung’s red tinted cheeks.

* * *

 

and the one time.

Timing was everything for a joke like this. Don’t say Soonyoung was a fool who didn’t learn from history, because he clearly did.

That’s why he made sure Jihoon was absolutely, 100%, in the middle of a game, when he draped himself over the back of the couch to point at the screen and go, “is it updog?”

Jihoon looked at him for all of a millisecond before he had to turn back to make sure he didn’t get killed by a horde of lovingly rendered zombies.

“What? Soonyoung I, shit shit shit.”

His curses accompanied by a frantic mashing of buttons.

But Soonyoung learnt a second thing - resilience.

“Oh wow, is that updog?”

Jihoon navigated his avatar out of the battlefield to crouch behind some cover to pause so he could look at Soonyoung a bit more properly, still not comprehending.

“Is there updog in there?” Soonyoung pressed on, raising both his eyebrows and his arm as if it would help illustrate his point.

“What are you talking about? I don’t know what updog is.”

But Soonyoung puffed out his cheeks and tilted his head. “Updog?”

It was getting ridiculous so Jihoon chuckled. “What are you saying?”

“Naw, it’s updog.”

“What’s updog?”

Soonyoung’s eyes sparkle seconds before the loud guffawing came pouring out, shaking the back pillows along with it.

Jihoon reached an understanding the moment the words leave his mouth and it was so lame but Soonyoung was laughing his lungs out so how could he be unhappy.

“Wow, I can’t believe I fell for that.”

Soonyoung kept laughing. Also, since he was hanging off the couch before, he now slid into a ball on the floor, clutching his knees as he wheezed and laughed and wheezed.

Kneeling on the plush cushion, Jihoon leant over the couch, in the opposite direction, to watch Soonyoung dying.

“Oh my God, that’s the happiest I’ve ever seen you.” He said but there was a shadow of a laugh to his own voice, the trace of a smile so fond.

Soonyoung found purchase on the top part of the couch, and he managed to prop himself up on shaky arms, his face just inches away from Jihoon’s now. The sparkle still glittering in his face as he started, “I have never,” he punctuated to catch a breath, “ever gotten that to work.”

His own face cracking into smiles and giggles, Jihoon reached up to cup Soonyoung’s face. “That’s splendid.”

“Ehe, it is.” Soonyoung nodded.

Then Jihoon, pushed himself higher to press a soft kiss on Soonyoung’s temple.

Soonyoung’s impossibly bright expression turned even brighter.

“Now come on, I have a game to get back to, are we gonna cuddle or what.”

It wasn’t actually that romantic to cuddle your boyfriend while spraying the blood of your enemies on HDTV, but that was a thought that didn’t come to haunt either of them as they sat wrapped comfortably around each other in almost silence and a pleasant buzzing warmth.

**Author's Note:**

> \- hyaaaa ho, i hoppity hope that was fairly entertaining at least  
> \-- i didn't know what i was doing for more than half the fic
> 
> \- i know i said i'd work on cwm after the last thing i wrote but i am having a bit of a block and have been very dissatisfied with everything i'm writing  
> \-- which i hoped to alleviate somewhat by just writing and this was born
> 
> \- i don't have much else to say about this one. it's short and i wished i could give all the members more roles but the balancing was difficult  
> \-- also i usually have some leeway with characterisation because of the au setting so i do hope i did justice in this one
> 
> \- take care


End file.
